Listen to it here.
The backing track is a song called Bang Bang by The Weathermen! Loved that tune...
These were real people that left real messages on our answering machine, around '87-88. Digitized these about 15 years ago...way before computers made sound editing easy, was pretty much doing the "sound on sound" thing with one of those dual cassette decks...if you heard these now you'd figure these were Jerky Boys-style put-ons, but nope, these are 100% the real deal.
The first...I'm sorry to say used to be a close "friend"...she was a WHOLE bunch of evil, and yeah she called me "brother"....get this, she wanted to borrow a pack of Krazy Glue to put in some hated classmate's panties (Think it was a cheerleader rivalry revenge thing), and went apesh*t when I told her that wasn't such a hot idea. And...I eventually did pick up the phone, and (sorry to say) probably gave her the stupid pack of Krazy Glue. I hope to God she never actually went through with her insane plan.
You see, I was totally smitten with her, even though most of my friends pretty much hated her guts since she was a totally stuck-up POS...and managed to get a couple of nice guys to be her boyfriend...the original draft called them "saps", but that's unfair to them, one in particular I had no problem with, he was a really, really nice (now we'd say 'chill') guy...though one other jock-type we all knew (*NOT* one of her steady boyfriends) bragged about what he was able to get her to do for him, which I could hardly believe at the time, we all figured he was lying or blowing smoke...but in retrospect, now believe was 100% true.
In exchange I got the "privilege" to hang around with her at lunch and do her homework, since I got pretty good grades in high school. She also was a student TA in my senior Econ class which for some unknown reason I was totally bombing, she managed to get on the teacher's computer to change my D to a B...I don't think I asked her to, she just did it...I still feel sick to my stomach about that.
The second miscreant...was some racist tenant who had it in for my dad, and apparently hammed up this totally racist, ugly, hick impersonation, or he really WAS like that, yikes!
...warning: foul/racist/sexist language...and actually quite scary/upsetting at the time...